California Dreaming

I love hulu.com! Free movies, and the occasional trip down memory lane! Tonight I stumbled onto California Dreaming, which was shot in Avila Beach and Pismo Beach California. What a blast to the past this was! Not only did I once again get to see Glynnis O'Connors boobies, I once again saw the town that made such an impact on me in 1975!
We flew out to California the summer after my dad died to visit my Aunt, who had a little trailer in a tiny trailer park just across the street from the beach. How we all kept from killing each other in that tiny trailer I will never know....but I know I fell in love with the Pacific Ocean the minute I saw it. This movie was probably fimed around 77-78, since it was released in 79. But it was just like I had travleled back in time to the day I saw that beach. The pier, the main drag, the beach, everything just as it was in my memory. I'd love to go back, and I'd hate to go back. Because I'm sure it did not stay the funky little California beach town it was back then.
I was SO much like the geeky kid in that movie it isn't even funny! Only I was probably geekier! It was a total culture shock, and I was never the same again. My love of the ocean and beaches started right there. So did my motion sickness tendencies, as my uncle Art took me out fishing on his little boat. Ugh. Horrible experience, and I tend to stay on the beaches since that trip!
It was a great time to be a teenage kid, and the town was unspoiled and innocent. I have some of my best memories from that summer, and a few others when I went back. I doubt that I can ever go back, but if I could live anywhere in the world, at any particular moment in time, that would be it. Avila Beach in 1975. Heaven on earth.

Balance = Nirvana

Balance in my life is a rare thing. I run hot and cold, from one extreme to the other. But I do learn. I learn over time what works, and what doesn't. I'm self-aware without driving myself crazy with analysis. Hell, I'm crazy enough without trying to exacerbate it!

I'm at a healthy, happy balance today. It's been a rough month (April that is) in some ways, but I like how I have responded to it. My life feels in balance. I'm doing well at work, I'm exercising and more importantly taking two rest days a week. My weight is dropping again but I don't really care. I look good, I feel good and I feel strong. I'm eating a healthy diet - with some good splurges thrown in to keep me sane. I stopped counting points a month ago, I'm done with that crap. Done with Weight Watchers, and I'm only weighing myself at the gym. I can do whatever I choose to do. I'm reading again, just for fun and just when I want to. I can focus on things. I can relax and lay on my ass and watch Biggest Loser without panicking that I'm not working out hard enough. I've gone on a couple dates. My house is clean. My yard is mowed and edged, and I'm winning the battle against the weeds. I've drastically cut down on my online presence, both on Facebook and in the blogging world. I'm only keeping one blog, and I have also drastically cut back on the time I spend on the computer - and that has made a HUGE difference in getting me back into life....instead of reading about others living theirs, I'm out living mine!

The most good news I have ever gotten in the mail came tonight! Last Monday, I went to the Heart Hospital of Austin and had a "Heart Saver CT Scan" done. Some history, I have had high - well borderline - "bad" cholesterol levels (so-so on "good" cholesterol) on my last few physicals (I now get one every year!) and my Dr has been reticent to put me on meds....mainly because he wanted me to change my diet. Weight Watchers got me on the right track there - I hardly eat ANYTHING fried anymore...not because I'm fanatical about it...it just doesn't appeal to me as much anymore. My dad's side of the family has some heart disease history, so that has nagged at me since I became a runner - always in the back of my mind. You read about otherwise healthy runners dropping dead in a race, and it makes you worry. I saw one do it when I ran the Munich Marathon while I was in the Army. So my Dr suggested over a year ago that I go get one of these scans done, to see what level of calcium buildup there might be in my arteries/heart. I think I was fearful of what I might find, so I put it off and put it off. Recently I saw where the Heart Hospital of Austin was doing them for $199. I have a health reimbursement account, so I was also looking for things to get that money out for! Finally I made the appointment and had it done. Easiest thing I ever had done in a hospital - keep your clothes on and it takes all of 5 minutes. They said if anything looked bad, they would call me. The very next day I had a call from some dumbass at the hospital. I almost had a heart attack when I got the message to call her! It turned out she wanted to know who I worked for. I was like...what the fuck? Do you KNOW how worried that message made me lady????? I hung up on her without answering. So a week goes by, and I relax, but I still think it's not going to be all that good...well.....

It was perfect!!!! My "calcium score" was a big fat ZERO!!!! NONE at all on the scan!!! It could not be any better...it predicts my chances of having heart disease (which we all know is the #1 killer!) is "very low risk"....my "predicted narrowing of the arteries" is 90-95% chance there is NO narrowing!!!! No visible plaque in my heart OR arteries!! WOOHOOOOO!!!!!

I have the pictures, all dark.....no calcium. I'm ecstatic. It tells me that:

1. I can keep on with the program I'm doing

2. I do NOT have to go on meds!

3. I'm doing SOMETHING right....actually diet and exercise both are worlds better

All in all, it's been a great day!

I just have to share this....the most amazing video....

and a terrific lesson on how much we all judge others on their appearances - and how that can be totally wrong.....

Click here to watch

Here are the lyrics also


It truly humbled me.....enjoy.<

My sister is my hero...

My older sister Cindy is fearless. Seriously. The woman went to Egypt ALONE, to see the Pyramids and experience it firsthand. And this May she gets her first degree from College! Works full time, and goes to school at night too! She is amazing.

And she's inspired me to go back to school also. Starting this fall, I'm going to go to Austin Community College to take my core classes before I decide what I want to be when I grow up. If I ever grow up that is!

Unreal how life unfolds. I'm not stressing about the Grand Plan...just going to get my happy ass in school, one class at a time and see where it goes. I think this will be a true adventure!

The good part is that ACC already has my transcripts from HS, the ONE semester of college I actually finished, and some course work I did over the years. So I have no reason not to finish it. I read a great quote one day from a professor. He was talking to a middle aged woman who was worried about going back to school. She told him.."Do you know how old I'll be when I GRADUATE?"...and he said..."Well, how old will you be when you DON'T?"

I'm excited. Thanks sis, I love you!

Dance Without Sleeping....

I'm a HUGE Melissa Etheridge fan...of her music that is. That's all I look at an artist for....their politics/sexual preference, etc....none of that concerns me. I saw her once live - at Bass Concert Hall on the UT Campus. In-fucking-credible concert....and this was the song that blew me away. one of my all-time favorite songs, I have it on the new workout CD I made....


I don't want to talk about it
Done enough I think
Don't want to spend more money
I don't want another drink
I would scratch out all the images
If I had the chance
Don't ask me what I'm thinking
Can't you see I only want to

(Chorus)
Dance without sleeping
I'll dance without fear
Dance without senses no message I hear
Dance without sleeping
I'll dance till I'm numb
Dance till I think I can overcome

Walking on the edge of rage and understanding
Between the black and the white
This child is so angry
Alone here tonight
Alarming desperation
Leads me to believe
With all my shields and protection
It's only me I deceive

(Chorus)

The eyes on a magazine
The voice on the radio
The kiss on the movie screen
This is the story I know
Fathers hold on and they never go
Mothers hold on and they never go
Lovers hold on and they never go
Lovers they come and they never go

(Chorus twice)

Runner's High....but not today!

I loved this picture! Today I made the decision to run outside for the first time this year....and I ran 7 miles! Ok, so the trail map here shows it as 6.9, others vary from 7.12 to 6.9...so dammit, I want 7 miles! lol. No difference, really, I was thrilled to be able to run it all...the I35 Loop from the Mopac bridge used to be (ok, it WAS 2 frigging years sgo!) my low-mileage 10K "tuneup" training run.

Damn, do my legs ever feel the difference!!! All but about 1 mile of this run is on actual trail - very hard, but still softer than pavement! There are plans in the works to finish the expanse of trail that is re-routed from the "lake" side to pavement, but who knows if that will ever actually get done. I was re-introduced to the main reason I quit road-racing...namely, my OLD KNEES!!

But then again, I was reminded how much I love the trail. I've put in more miles there than in any place in Austin, including the marathon. I love the getaway it provides, even though it's about a 25 mile drive! The trick is to mainly run there on weekends, to avoid the traffic. Today was perfect. Hot, and that introduced another element I am not used to!! It was 85 degrees at 1pm when I started running!!
I was actually loving it, once I got warmed up....which as usual took me a couple miles. When I say "warmed up" I mean the point where my legs are on auto-pilot, and my breathing has calmed down. No runners high, too early for that! But the sense of accomplishment (not to mean I did not THINK about bailing at the 4.1 mile loop turn!) was worth every step of the run!

My total time was 1hr 12 minutes, 9 seconds. That included a water stop at 2 miles...and a porta-john detour at 5 miles...so I was comfortably under 10 minute miles, which I'm satisifed with. I had to remember that in 2007 I could have easily ran this in under 56 minutes....and did that regularly. But then I was running like a man posessed, not doing anything else but a few weight days....and not watching what I ate at all. Things are much different now. I'll be thrilled if I can run a 10K in under an hour, and as long as I have fun, I might run more. The Cap 10K is coming up last weekend this month, Sunday, and I'm getting excited about it. Not that I'll be too concerned about time - there are far too many runners and it's a hilly course, but I do know it will be a great workout!

Tonight it's off to the gym for some elliptical to ease the knees, and it's upper body workout night.

After that, my nose goes right back into my book....a biography of Einstein....which has pulled me off Jane Eyre for now ( I did get another 4 chapters of Jane in this weekend, great book so far) but I may keep alternating back and forth...it feels great to be reading again, to get my mind on (and off) other things....

Megan's first trip to a Public Library!

My new Library card! Woohoo! I am somebody!!



Megan trying to act like she's reading!




Megan with 3 Manga she picked up - these suckers cost $10 apiece at Barnes and Noble...now WHY did I not think of the public library before!! Note her "required reading" book I added - Stephen King's "The Talisman"....:O) She has one month to read it and gets $20 if she can honestly tell me after reading the book that she hated it...lol



Here I am, with my first choice....an autobiography of Einstein...I am also cooking Megan's Tilapia sauteed in garlic butter, it was yummy...sorry no pictures, she ate it too fast!



Hard to believe Megan is 12 and I JUST took her to the public library - but damn Barnes and Noble was getting too much of my money! The girl burns through books like I did at her age. The light comes on eventually, but it sure took me a long time! We live in Austin, right at the frigging edge of the Northern city limits...in Cedar Park for all extents and purposes, except the tax lines apparently! So it was $35 for a year, but well worth it. They have a great library, and DVD's/CD's also. You can check out up to 35 items!! Woohoo!! No more video rental! And it's a 10 minute drive. Brings back memories from childhood, we would ride our bikes miles to the library, just to get more books to read. My parents got Readers Digest condensed books, and I read so many of those! So reading was always a big part of my life....until I got older and stopped making the time for it. I'm now juggling several, and this week I'm going to really step it up and read more!

Obviously things are brighter than they seemed last night, and this morning. More roller coaster riding!